There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but there is only one eligible nation in Europe. England? Though its relationship hit a rough patch or two when it had that fling with Cromwell, it has been with the Hanover line since 1714, and England shows no sign of wavering. After a long-term relationship with the Habsburgs, Spain hooked up with the Bourbons, and hasn’t looked back.
France, however, is a different story. After a two century relationship with the Bourbons (yes, they are related to the Spanish Bourbons), France is now on the market. Today, France will attempt to pick its next suitor by participating in the Dating Game. Here are some of the suitors who hope to claim France’s heart:
- Louis Capet: socially inept and not particularly interested in romance, Louis seems like a long shot. Still, he has a nice house and a powerful family (or, at least they used to be powerful); can he win back France’s affections?
- Maximilien Robespierre: A dazzling speaker and a man of ideals, Robespierre appeals to France’s intellectual side. His religious views, however, might be too much for Catholic France.
- Jean-Paul Marat; According to one source, Marat “was exactly five feet high, and his weight when at his best was one hundred twenty pounds—just the weight of Shakespeare. Jean Paul had a nose like the beak of a hawk, an eye like an eagle, a mouth that matched his nose, and a chin that argued trouble.” Physically appealing? No. Dangerous and Rebellious? Darn right. France has a history of liking that sort of thing…
- Napoleon Bonaparte: If you like foreigners with a whole lot of swagger, Napoleon is the one for you. He is supremely confident (the clinical term is megalomaniacal), and he is willing to conquer all of Europe to prove his love.
- Every participant (including France) will have a relationship advisory team. These teams will help the participants prepare their best answers.
- Some questions will be given to all participants in advance. The teams will need to prepare their best answers to these questions.
- France and her relationship team will prepare their own questions for the contestants. The teams will have time to prepare their answers.
The Prepared Questions
- So…tell me a little about yourself.
- What is your idea of a romantic date? (Be historically accurate…and careful)
- I’m just getting over a long-term relationship. How do you know this won’t be just a rebound?
- I’ve been Catholic for as long as I can remember. What are your religious views?
- I’m not shallow, but I like nice things as much as the next person. What gift would you give me for our first big milestone?